Started writing a blog last week and didn’t post it, as the experience still had something to teach me. The question that has dogged me—as much as I don’t want to admit it—is WHY? Why do bad things keep happening?
Normally, I really don’t find “Why” to be a helpful question, as it keeps the focus on the past—and what we focus on we create (and re-create). I was explaining this to a friend at lunch last week and her reply was something like, “The question to ask yourself is not why things happen—it’s more like okay—what do I do now?” My thoughts exactly…and then here comes that question again…WHY??? What did I do to attract this in to my life?? Oh yeah…right…let’s focus on what I choose to do now…though my BFF said it well on the phone today…sometimes it feels like it just sucks to be human.
That’s what I needed. To honor that feeling. I didn’t need to know Why, that was just the question guiding my awareness to the feeling that was stuffed somewhere beneath my experience of the past week. Sometimes we can get so caught up in the intention to see the world through the eyes of God that we forget that things don’t always feel perfect in our human world. Stuff happens.
Stuff like coming home from work to find my apartment flooded because my upstairs neighbor ran a huge amount of rice through the drain OR waking up to find I (temporarily) couldn’t see out of my left eye. Or the gift of having my landlord, his wife, and the maintenance person respond in person to help me at 1 in the morning, the eye doctor who says to me “you’re in the family now, and we are here for you,” a best friend who calls because her radar says Patty needs a call, and so much more. So much great ‘stuff’!
When you look for it, there’s always more to be grateful for, though when you’re in the middle of feeling like life sucks you can’t always see that. Here’s the thing I learned (again) this week—I get frustrated when my world seems to be out of my control. In fact, at some level I become a control freak. So what’s that all about? It’s about fear—or as Charles Fillmore (co-founder of Unity) called it “False Evidence Appearing Real.” I know that I am not the experiences in my life—though sometimes it definately feels that way.
In the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous it talks about how when we harbor fear it will control our lives. When we emotionally or mentally buy into the false evidence of our experiences, we are making the choice to give our power over to fear rather than live our lives from a place of love. What would our world be like if we were to give Love the reigns to create our experience? Love is the creative energy of expressing our oneness with God, whereas fear is a destructive energy that perpetuates a false idea that we can even be separate from God.
Love is the paradigm I choose. Anything else is a delusion—including the illusion of chaos in my life this past week. It is all God. There can be nothing other than the one presence and power of Love that we call God. When it feels like life sucks, I’ve wrestled the reigns of life from God and am struggling with the false identity of separation. What do I do now? Find something to be grateful for, to realign my thoughts with God. As I choose to experience my life from a consciousness of Oneness, I can trust the Divine Order present in the midst of chaos bringing forth the highest good. You can, too.
It’s great to be alive!